Riverdale Recap: Chapter 14, A Kiss Before Dying

Can anyone remember what their life was like P.R. (pre-Riverdale)? I sure can’t. Those were dark days. It feels like we’ve been waiting years for Riverdale to grace our screens again (it’s actually only been 154 days, but who is counting?); thankfully the return of Season 2 of Riverdale did not disappoint. Dream sequences, old time-y hospital outfits, shower-cuddles and fog! Good lord was there fog. Check out our recap of the best bits of Chapter 14: A Kiss Before Dying.

BEST DRESSED

One of my favourite aspects of Riverdale is that it has a nostalgic vibe and often calls back to 1950s Americana. HOWEVER, I think this getup was overkill:

“I wear this high collar because I moonlight as a Dentist”. Image credit: Netflix

TALKY TALK: FAVOURITE QUOTES

  • “If that beanie-wearing cad defiled you, at least please tell me that you were safe”. Never change, Alice Cooper. You are a gem.
  • “If that’s Snake Plissken, I want him blocked”.
  • “You look like you’re auditioning for a teen reboot of The Shining”.
  • “Mr. Weird-I’m-a-Weirdo?”. I’m so glad this show can make fun of itself.
  • “You sound like the cranky old guy in the Friday the 13th movies”. Jughead, you know what they say about glass houses and stones right?
  • “Now here’s the reals, Baby Jane”.

CHERYL’S BITCH-O-METRE

Image source: Netflix

100% PSYCHOTIC. I love crazy Cheryl!! She was on fire this week (pardon the pun). She showed us just how twisted she can be. Who knows what she will do next. Whatever it is, I’m here for it.

OMNOMNOM: FOODIE MOMENT

You have got to respect someone who can walk through a pool of blood and still be hungry. If this episode is anything to go by (snacking on peanuts, scoffing a burger and fries) it looks like we are going to see a lot more of Jughead eating this season. I also need to add that Jughead putting on a deep gravelly voice and saying “In times of crisis, some people lose their appetite. But me? Mine increases tenfold” gave me tingles. 

Image source: Netflix

LEVEL OF ATMOSPHERIC FOG

Moderate visibility. You can’t even have a deathbed hallucination without there being fog. Fred’s dream of Archie and Veronica’s wedding had the fog machines working overtime.

SHIP OF THE WEEK

Image source: Netflix

Both of our main couples were tested in this episode (setting up what is going to be a reoccurring theme for the season maybe?). Varchie had their shower rendezvous, which felt really inappropriate to me, and then their first big fight when Archie lashed out and tried to push Veronica away. In the end they came out of it stronger than ever. Now on to my favourite ship of all time (not biased at all) – Bughead. They were also dealing with their own issues as Betty grappled with the idea that her boyfriend could become a Serpent. My heart broke a little for Juggie when he said that wearing the jacket and riding the bike made him feel closer to his dad (and omg wouldn’t we all love to feel closer to Skeet Ulrich? Sorry was that too weird?). Betty once again pulls through as the world’s most supportive girlfriend (sorry Veronica) when she told Juggie that “Whatever you need to do… I support you”. RELATIONSHIP GOALS.

BEST PARENT

This episode of Riverdale is brought to you by You’re on Fire! Outlast All Day Covergirl Lipstick. Image source: Netflix

Fred is the obvious winner of Best Parent of the Week (and if we are being real here, he wins Best Parent 98% of the time). Archie’s story about how Fred got Vegas the dog for him, and called him “Little Archie” when he was younger, was so sweet. Fred is such a stand-up guy and dad. And we can’t forget the touching scene at the end of the episode when Fred stated that he came back to protect Archie. I could practically feel my heartstrings being pulled.

INSIGNIFICANT BACKGROUND DETAIL

Even when he isn’t wearing his beanie the crown is still there.

QUESTIONS

  • What is the jingle-jangle? I’m assuming it’s some kind of drug but when I hear jingle-jangle I think of Esmerelda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame banging her tambourine and jangling her gold bracelets all over the place.
  • Pop mentions that the diner got “bricks through the windows during the riots”. Could he be talking about the feud between the North and South or something else entirely?
  • What exactly happened in the barn?
  • Have you ever called your best bro a “rock-star god”?
  • What is in Fred’s wallet and why is it so important? Could Fred have been working on a top-secret-never-before-tasted batch of maple syrup?
  • So Ms. Grundy was just across the river this whole time? Wasn’t she afraid someone would bump into her at the local Walmart?
  • Did you notice that there were copious references to horror movies and does that even matter?

I would love to hear your comments and theories on this episode! Until next week, rock-star gods. 

Cactus Pop

We are four girls who aim to share, inspire and discuss the things we love. Cactus Pop is headquartered in Melbourne, Australia and is devoted to discussing books, TV, movies, travel, food, craft, musings on life and the stuff in between.

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